Where the *&!@ have I been?


So some of you have noticed I haven’t streamed in 2+ months.
Yeah. MONTHS.

If you’re a sub and you hang out on Discord you know some of what’s been going on at least.

But I want to be very honest with the rest of you and try to explain what all has happened in the last 2+ months. Some of it is very personal and has me super stressed. I’m not asking for help with these problems, just explaining where I’ve been. Because you’ve asked and I want to be honest with you.

Cmc7k2hUsAAznvhSo first, the good news.
I met someone special. Two someones, actually. I’ve been dating a lovely nerdy couple here and I’ll admit the first week or two of absence was probably me prioritizing that new relationship energy and spending all my time with them.

They make me happy. Thanks to them I’ve been eating better, ‘exercising’ (read: Pokemon Go), sleeping a more ‘normal’ schedule, and generally enjoying life.

They live ~1hour+ away from where I’ve been living though, and as I did not have a car, they were having to pick me up and drop me off each time. That’s 2 hours each time out of their way, and plenty of gas money. So I started staying at their place.

I went out and bought a new laptop (on credit, because I can’t actually afford that.) so I could work from over there and potentially stream. I actually did a couple of short streams from there to finish up Dreamfall Chapters. And things were fine.

But life won’t allow me to be happy for too long, right? D:CoBByQaWgAAra1L

Some of you may recall I was saving up to buy a new car. Well I did finally go out and do that. I got a 2004 Hyundai Santa Fe in pretty decent condition for $2500 off some guy off craigslist (ugh). And a few days later, the check engine light came on. Crap.

Mechanic estimate was ~$900. I fixed /some/ of it, for $350ish. Because I can’t afford more.

That laptop I bought? The hard drive died. Within a month of purchase. Just would not boot one day, and couldn’t even detect the hard drive to reinstall Windows or anything. Dead.

Returned it to Microcenter (which btw is over an hour away from them as well), and got another of the same model. Well that one was defective too. The battery would not hold a charge. At all. And the screen would randomly shut down as if graphics card issues.

CpYr9jFUkAAwQM4So another drive down to Microcenter to return it. Ended up getting a Lenovo at Best Buy after that. Mainly so if it died, too, we wouldn’t have to drive as far to return it.

Well, now I can work from their house, but couldn’t stream. OBS couldn’t even handle preview mode without whining about High CPU usage and looking like some crazy stop motion animation. :( Blergh.
So recently I went back to slack’s house to pick up my PC. So I could start streaming again soon. No, I’m not moving in with them yet. Though it seems that way sometimes. But I just can’t drive back and forth all the time, so compromises were made. And now I should be able to stream. Should.

Naturally, when I go to pick up my PC I also get a letter that I guess had been sitting on my desk for ~2 weeks already (because I hadn’t been home).
From a lawyer in Florida. My ex demanding child support and arrears for the child support I hadn’t paid in the last EIGHT YEARS.
Welp. Fuck.

Most of you probably didn’t even know I have a child. It’s not something I talk about frequenly for obvious reasons. He lives in Florida with his father, and I haven’t heard from him in, well, 8 years. Yeah, I stopped paying child support. Because I was a irresponsible 20-something mad she couldn’t see her son and with no knowledge of law, courts, and no money to afford a lawyer. I just got up and moved. I realize now this was a bad decision, and am in no way defending said action, but it happened, and this is where I am today.

Basically The last two months have been a crazy rollercoaster of joy and stress and streaming simply hasn’t had a chance to happen. I miss you all. But I’m dealing with 3k+ credit card bill from Car issues, Computer issues, and LIFE. And now 20K in Child Support arrears where I’ll likely get my wages garnished. And as you know, I already wasn’t making enough money to live just on work, so.. AAAAHHHH

I’ve been so stressed I’ve actually gotten sick several times, missed several days work, and have spent a fair amount crying into someone’s arms.

tl;dr I have two new significant others, a new car, a new laptop, $3k Credit card debt, $20k in Child Support debt, and no way to actually pay said debt.
Oh, and I have to deal with the legal system and figure out how to respond to this guy’s lawyer with no legal knowledge whatsoever. Yay.

…I’ll be back to streaming soon. I brought my PC over so I could stream. And I will. But I apologize in advance if I don’t seem myself. :(